stay or go

Nine weeks ago my husband's company dropped a bomb on their employees and told them they were moving to Texas. They were given the choice to move, if they were asked that is, or to start 2010 unemployed. We didn't want to move, but the idea of unemployment...of possible debt, left us fearful and worried.
The old me, the one who would stuff her face every time she was stressed and unhappy, started whispering in my ear, "don't worry, eat a little something..." But I resisted, and stepped up my swimming to daily visits to the pool. When I swam, I didn't have to think about anything else except completing that lap, and then the next one...and the next... and it helped, for a few hours. Then the worried thoughts would rise up and the whispers begain again.
I didn't understand. After months of illness, I was just coming into my own. I had finally woken up and was actively trying to lose weight and regain my health by diet and swimming laps. I was exploring my relationship with God and confronting myself through Celebrate Recovery.
Why would God so drastically alter our lives at this moment?
Talking it out at Celebrate Recovery helped. The two things I realized were: God's timing is not our timing, and God's timing is always perfect. So, even though I didn't want to move, and I didn't fully understand, I needed to be open to God's will in this matter. Whether it was to stay, or to go, I needed to be obedient. Jim felt the same, but we were not sure what God's will was and our prayer was that it would be revealed to us.
We flew down to Texas look around with several other employees and their families. Every morning I woke up early and went downstairs to the hotel pool and did my laps. During this time I had conversations with God. I asked Him to help us see His will in this matter, and to prepart our hearts for whatever lay ahead. I was still afraid, but the little whispers in my ear ceased and I slept soundly and without worry. I still didn't want to move, but I was learning to trust that God would take care of us, no matter what happened.
Weeks went by and still nothing was revealed to us that would help us to know what God's will was. As time started running out, we actually started making a list with two columns, "Reasons to Stay" and "Reasons to Go". I joked that we should cast lots like they did in biblical times and even got a pair of dice out of one of our old board games. Odd number thrown-we go, even number-we stay. Jim was not amused. He was feeling the stress and begain spending more and more of his free time in his wood shop. I left him alone, figuring that it was akin to my doing laps and I hoped he was having his own conversations with God while he was out there.
School started, the pool finally closed, and the deadline to make our decision arrived. The night before Jim was suppose to go into work and tell them our decision, we sat down and hashed it out. Neither of us had experienced anything that gave us a definite clue as to God wanting us to leave the life we had, and move. Our main reason to move was the financial one. We feared Jim's unemployment. But everything else that mattered to us spoke to us as reason to stay.
We had been thinking God wanted us to step out in faith and go, but perhaps, He wanted us to stay, in faith, knowing unemployment loomed and yet trusting that He would provide.
We have decided to do just that and stay home.
"I know the plans I have for you , says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11