Walking the dog

I really don't like to exercise. At all. I have never found enjoyment in playing a sport, either. I know many other people who feel exactly the same way. Many of them overweight, though it's not exclusive. Fat or thin, we just don't like to move around a lot. And we've formed a club. It's the "couch potato" club. We have lots of members.
Watching sports is different. Watching sports is a food-related activity. Ball games and hot dogs, it's American! Football has tailgate parties, and wings and nachos. Football is a very fattening spectator sport. And pizza is always available for any games on TV. But going out and actually playing the game? Too much work.
For me, I think the reason is that I just don't like to sweat. Or get dirty. Or muddy, or have leg cramps, or feel tired, or out of breath, or hurt myself. The list goes on, but you get the idea.
However, a diet will only take you so far and then you "get stuck". "Plateau". It's frustrating. You're being good on your diet, but you're not losing. That's when it's time to move to the next level, exercise.
I put it off as long as I could.
I started swimming laps, because it was hot, and I like to go to the pool during the summer. I was already there, so why not swim a few laps? A few laps turned into 74 laps over the course of several weeks and I was swimming a mile. Two important things about this: 1) I AM NOT A GOOD SWIMMER. I am not fast, smooth or fluid like some of the swimmers you will see doing laps. But, I don't have to be. I just have to, as they say on the commercial, "do it". It takes me almost two hours to do a mile. I've seen good swimmers do it in a 1/2 hour. I take comfort in the knowledge that the end result is the same.
2) I found I enjoyed doing it. I find a tranquility and peace that surrounds me and I find myself relaxing and just being in the moment. I do some good thinking while I am swimming. I do some good praying while I am swimming, too. No distractions. Now, here is the important part about exercise. IF YOU DON'T ENJOY IT, YOU WON'T DO IT.
So what does all of this have to do with walking the dog? Let me explain. First some statistics. They've done a bunch of studies, and found out that people who walk their dog lost more weight than those people who don't walk their dogs. As a group, they weigh less in general. They also have lower blood pressure, better cholesterol, less depression, recover quicker from heart attacks, and reduce their chances of developing type 2 diabetes.
You may say, "so what!" We've heard it all before, "walking is good for you..." blah, blah, blah. Yeah, walking IS good for you, but we don't do it. However, dogs need to be walked or accidents happen. And people will make themselves take the dog out, whether they want to or not. Rain or shine. Hot or cold. Plus, they've found out that people who walk their dogs generally are happier and healthier than someone who just walks for exercise. Why? Because we love our dogs. We enjoy being with them.
And, when you walk a dog, you don't have to be a speed walker. You can enjoy the scenery while you walk. An added benefit: anyone who has a dog has witnessed the utter joy your dog will show when you pick up that leash. It makes it a lot easier to go out that door on a chilly day.

Years ago, when I was pregnant, the doctor ordered me to take a daily walk for exercise. We lived in a condo complex back then, but up until this time, I had left the dog walking duties to my husband. So, huffing and puffing I would walk around the complex, my 2 little Chihuahuas and our Boston terrier pulling me uphill and down like little tug boats towing a great barge. After my daughter was born and we bought a house, I made sure it had a fenced in yard and my dog walks were over. Those 3 sweet dogs are gone now, and I feel sad when I now realize that I deprived them of a source of joy when we stopped walking.
Until now. Yes, I've started walking the dog. Not all the time. We do have that fenced in yard. But I aim for once a day. And I find that I am enjoying it.
Ginger, our miniature poodle loves these walks so much, that as soon as she sees me reach for my athletic shoes, she assumes it's time for a walk. If I am just running out to the store, I try to put my shoes on without her noticing, or she has a fit. She also has learned the word, "walk", and will react immediately to it even if what you are saying has nothing to do with her.
Dogs, you gotta love them.
Unlike those joggers and fast-walker types, I'm not plugged into music while I walk. I listen to the birds, and the wind rustling the leaves. I look at the various yards as I go by and after a while you start to notice things. "Hmm, they planted a new bush", or "they've painted their shutters." Sometimes you run into other walkers. Some with dogs, some alone. You start to recognize each other and smile and say "hello". It's nice. I'm in a new club now. It's the "I want to get off the couch" club. You should join. And bring your dog along.

Sugar-Free Peanut Butter & Jelly Cookie recipe

One weekend, I experimented with 3 different sugar-free peanut butter cookie recipes and baked a dozen of each and held a taste test to find the best-tasting one. The judges were my daughter, Ariane and her best friend, Natalie. The recipe below is their favorite. It's an cross of Paula Deen's sugar-free Magical Peanut Butter Cookies and a couple of sugar-free PB & J cookie recipes I found online.
We compared regular "Jif", & "Simply Jif" peanut butter in the original batches. The difference was minimal, and the fat and calories less with the "Simply Jiff". Then, I also lowered the sodium by using "Crazy Richards" natural peanut butter and cooked another batch for yet another test. In that taste-test, Natalie couldn't tell the difference between the lower sodium version and the "Simply Jif" batch. My daughter, actually preferred the "Crazy Richards" batch.
I used Smuckers sugar-free jelly to make the PB & J version. There are several good sugar-free jellies and jams on the market. I found all of the ones I used at my regular supermarket.
NOTE: "Crazy Richards" peanut butter is a natural peanut butter, which means when you open it, you will find the oil separated from the peanut butter. Simply stir the oil into the peanut butter with a butter knife until totally incorporated and smooth. This only takes a minute or two. It is the same fat and carbs as "Simply Jif", but lower sodium. If sodium is not a issue with you, feel free to use the "Simply Jif" peanut butter.

I've also included the instructions for Paula's basic recipe for the PB cookie purists.

Sugar Free PB & J Cookies

Ingredients
1 cup Crazy Richards peanut butter, creamy or crunchy
1 1/3 cups Splenda
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Smuckers Sugar-Free Jam, Jelly, or Preserves of your choice. I used the Sugar-Free Blackberry Jam.

Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Grease a large baking sheet.
In a mixing bowl, combine the peanut butter, 1 cup Splenda, the egg and vanilla, and stir well with a spoon. Using a teaspoon measuring spoon, scoop out a spoonful of dough and form into a ball. Place on baking sheet about 1 inch apart.* Using the back of a 1/4 teaspoon measuring spoon, press into the center of each ball to make a well. Fill the well with 1/4 of a teaspoon of the sugar-free jam. Bake 12-14 minutes, then cool. Makes about 24 cookies. Serving size is 2 cookies.

*If you wish to make Paula's original recipe instead, at this point, instead of adding the jelly, take a fork, dipped in Splenda to prevent sticking, and press a crisscross design on each cookie. Then bake for 12 minutes. Remove from the oven and sprinkle the cookies with some of the remaining Splenda. Cool slightly before removing from pan.

Here we are again

Hey! I'm back again.
It's been a long time since I posted here. Sometimes life sneaks up on us and seems to demand all our attention, with nothing to spare for anything else...or at least it seems that way at the time.
So we have a lot of catching up to do. I just don't have the energy to go through the past year and a half moment by moment, so I will just hit the high (or low) spots.
Where to start...well, Jim lost his job, looked for a job, couldn't find a job and got depressed. Money was tight and spirits were low. This went on for months. I started doing what I had always done, turned to food for comfort. Not a good plan. However, I didn't fall all the way back into my old habits. I couldn't. Something (or SomeOne) held me back, and kept me from going too far off the pathway... but I came close!
God was still working in me. I could still hear His voice, but I had the volume turned way down low.
I gained back some weight. I'm not sure how much, but if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say 20-25 lbs. or so. I mean I had lost over 100 lbs, so what if I gained a few of them back, right? Wrong. I started feeling crummy. Sick. Every night. Blood pressure up, heart beat irregular. I felt God tapping on my shoulder again, and I knew I better get my act together before He kicked me in the pants...again.
OK. I came up with a plan. Started being more careful with my diet, measuring my portions again. Blood pressure wouldn't come down. I started cutting back on the sodium in my diet. Still high. Started walking around the neighborhood. Feeling better. Swimming laps through the summer. Better still, but not great. What more can I do? Pray.
It should be the first thing we do, but often, it's the last.
So, here we are again. Still on this same pathway, bumpy as it is. As my journey continues, so will this blog. I thought counting carbs was difficult, but watching your sodium is harder than anything else up to now. But more on that in another post.
God is faithful and so were those who were praying for us for all those months. Thank you. About one week before our COBRA insurance ran out, Jim got a job. He works nights now, which was an adjustment we had to make, but WE HAVE INSURANCE, and A PAYCHECK!

The juggling act

I've been working several weeks now, long enough to realize the struggle to balance work and everything else in my life. The last time I was working, I was single and had no husband or child to care for with their needs and expectations. And, of course that was almost twenty years ago, and my younger self had more energy and stamina and none of the health issues I currently face. My free time was just that, free to do with as I saw fit. Now that is not the case. Free time now is a race starting the minute I walk out of work. A race to pick up groceries, drop off library books, drive my daughter to where she needs to be. Since my schedule changes with my manager's whim, it is hard to plan too far in advance and I have had to scramble to reschedule appointments. Worse, is missing social events that I was really looking forward to. But sometimes there is no alternative. Modern retail has few boundaries; stores are open seven days a week from early morning to late evening. Those shifts have to be covered, and getting off when you want for what you want, is a tricky endeavor and not always successful.
I've come to realize I must choose my battles wisely as I cannot win them all. Everything must be prioritized. Which is more important, Tuesday night choir practice or a Saturday lunch with friends? Your birthday dinner out with your husband, or your daughter's band concert? What choices are held the most dear?
My manager's only desire is to keep everything flowing smoothly. She sees to it that our little shop continues, shift after shift. Our schedule is ever changing as illness and car trouble and vacations and sick kids throw a monkey wrench into it's carefully planned precision. I've already seen tears, more than once, as schedules collide with personal lives.
Time is a scarce commodity. There's just not enough of it for any of us. Is it any different if you're a stockbroker or salesgirl? The needs of the job verses the wants of our hearts. It's a juggling act I am attempting to learn.

"back in the saddle again..."

In the days after our decision not to move, I noticed a peace that seemed to have settled upon my husband. Once the choice was made, it was made...no second guessing. I wish I could say the same.
Although Jim would be still working for several months, he spoke to me about the first of the "cuts" we might have to make in the future if he couldn't find work...eating out after church, cable channels, cancelling the newspaper, our phone (the land line), our daughter's piano lessons. It was this last one that got me up and out looking for some part-time work.
I haven't held a paying job in 17 years. That is not to say I haven't worked. When my daughter was in elementary school, there was the PTA, and volunteering in the classroom and media center several times a week. As the years went on, I became more active in my church, joining several committees, the choir, and teaching sunday school. Still, it had been a while since I had brought home a paycheck and I wasn't quite sure just what I was going to put down on the application forms.
With the start of the holiday season just around the corner, I reasoned, this would be a perfect opportunity to apply for a p/t seasonal job that would ease me back into the workforce. So I put on a nice outfit and hit the local mall going store to store. I decided to be honest and straightforward from the beginning, explaining right away that I was re-entering the job market after a 17 year gap. Most people I spoke to were understanding and kind. With the economy depressed, more and more they were seeing homemakers and seniors returning to work. This, however didn't guarantee me a job. The economy had led many to downsize the amount of Christmas help they were hiring and, naturally, they were going to take the ones with a more current work history. When I received a call to come in for a formal interview from a ladies clothes shop, I was surprised and excited.
I started work two weeks ago. I dutifully noted the dress code requirements the shop manager outlined. She was quite emphatic as she empasized hair, makeup, accessories and dress clothes-no jeans! Since I had given away most of my wardrobe as I've lost weight, I didn't have much to choose from. I went out and purchased two pairs of dress slacks, a couple shirts and comfortable, yet attractive shoes. I made an appointment to get my hair cut. I was spending my paycheck before I even made it, but I reasoned I needed to pass the store manager's inspection.
My first day, was training. I listened to several DVD's explaining store policies and what to do if you suspect someone of shoplifting.
I really started working the next day. After my seven hour shift, I came home and got into bed with some Advil and our heating pad on my lower back. I had forgotten how hard it was to stand for hours on end. I worked only 4 hours the next day and five the day after that. I finished the week with a grand total of 16 hours. At minimum wage, I figure I made about $116. I don't know how much I will bring home, as they hold back the check for two weeks.

stay or go

Nine weeks ago my husband's company dropped a bomb on their employees and told them they were moving to Texas. They were given the choice to move, if they were asked that is, or to start 2010 unemployed. We didn't want to move, but the idea of unemployment...of possible debt, left us fearful and worried.
The old me, the one who would stuff her face every time she was stressed and unhappy, started whispering in my ear, "don't worry, eat a little something..." But I resisted, and stepped up my swimming to daily visits to the pool. When I swam, I didn't have to think about anything else except completing that lap, and then the next one...and the next... and it helped, for a few hours. Then the worried thoughts would rise up and the whispers begain again.
I didn't understand. After months of illness, I was just coming into my own. I had finally woken up and was actively trying to lose weight and regain my health by diet and swimming laps. I was exploring my relationship with God and confronting myself through Celebrate Recovery.
Why would God so drastically alter our lives at this moment?
Talking it out at Celebrate Recovery helped. The two things I realized were: God's timing is not our timing, and God's timing is always perfect. So, even though I didn't want to move, and I didn't fully understand, I needed to be open to God's will in this matter. Whether it was to stay, or to go, I needed to be obedient. Jim felt the same, but we were not sure what God's will was and our prayer was that it would be revealed to us.
We flew down to Texas look around with several other employees and their families. Every morning I woke up early and went downstairs to the hotel pool and did my laps. During this time I had conversations with God. I asked Him to help us see His will in this matter, and to prepart our hearts for whatever lay ahead. I was still afraid, but the little whispers in my ear ceased and I slept soundly and without worry. I still didn't want to move, but I was learning to trust that God would take care of us, no matter what happened.
Weeks went by and still nothing was revealed to us that would help us to know what God's will was. As time started running out, we actually started making a list with two columns, "Reasons to Stay" and "Reasons to Go". I joked that we should cast lots like they did in biblical times and even got a pair of dice out of one of our old board games. Odd number thrown-we go, even number-we stay. Jim was not amused. He was feeling the stress and begain spending more and more of his free time in his wood shop. I left him alone, figuring that it was akin to my doing laps and I hoped he was having his own conversations with God while he was out there.
School started, the pool finally closed, and the deadline to make our decision arrived. The night before Jim was suppose to go into work and tell them our decision, we sat down and hashed it out. Neither of us had experienced anything that gave us a definite clue as to God wanting us to leave the life we had, and move. Our main reason to move was the financial one. We feared Jim's unemployment. But everything else that mattered to us spoke to us as reason to stay.
We had been thinking God wanted us to step out in faith and go, but perhaps, He wanted us to stay, in faith, knowing unemployment loomed and yet trusting that He would provide.
We have decided to do just that and stay home.
"I know the plans I have for you , says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

bliss

Once in awhile it's nice to treat yourself...going out to Goodberries for a small cup of no-sugar-added vanilla ice cream...Mmm...bliss!